10 Things I Have Learned About Pacifiers

I realize that I am no expert nor am I anywhere near being out of the pacifier stage of my life but here’s some things I have learned over the last year and half.

1.  Pacifiers have legs.  That’s how they escape.

2.  Don’t keep more than two pacifiers in rotation.  This way you can keep track of their whereabouts and prevent escapes.

3.  They keep baby from eating poisonous berries, at least they have so far.

4.  They keep baby from drinking bath water, most of the time.

5.  I wish I could line baby’s bed with pacifiers (Robert won’t let me).  This might be the solution to all that screaming in the middle of the night (Robert doesn’t think so).

6.  Babies play favorites.  Of course my baby only accepted mail order pacifiers from Hawaii for his first year of life.  Dashing out to Walmart at 9 pm was not an option.

7.  All pacifiers are not created equal.  Baby can actually chew through the newborn level.

8.  The wonderful nurse in the hospital who introduced baby to the pacifier deserves a hug.

9.  Pacifiers don’t cause orthodontic problems until they start getting permanent teeth.  This lets me check one more thing off my Things to Worry About List

10.  My mom says that somewhere between now and high school baby will give up the beloved pacifier.

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One response to “10 Things I Have Learned About Pacifiers

  1. Tracy Walton

    i laughed so hard i cried. great post.

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